Spiritual and Religious Experiences of Gay Men With HIV Illness

A total of 10 gay men with symptomatic HIV illness defined “religion” and “spirituality” and explored their experiences in a transcendental phenomenological study. Themes essential to participants’ experiences were (a) spirituality was experienced as a dynamic, evolving, reciprocal relationship with oneself, God, or a universal spirit; (b) participants developed an identity of self in relation to church through the creative resolution of dissonance between institutionalized prejudice in the church and the lived gay Christian experience; (c) spirituality was expressed through religious practices; (d) experiences of religion and spirituality were intertwined with family relationships; (e) religious experiences were perceived as more important to spiritual satisfaction than experiences defined as spiritual but not religious; and (f) for African American participants, the traditions and practices of the Black church were the foundation of spiritual and religious experiences. A total of 8 participants identified others’ negative responses to their homosexuality as social problems that affected their behavior in formal religious settings but not self-acceptance.