Strategic, passionate, but academic: Am I allowed in my writing?

This article is about the struggles to sustain identity as writers while accommodating the demands of the university experienced by Arianto and his thesis supervisor, myself. It shows how critical EAP was the on-going conversation between us about how to negotiate norms, voice and creativity in our writing and in the negotiations Arianto had to make when writing his own essays and thesis in English and assessing his students' written works. The article also discusses how my positioning as a writer of two languages and having a passion for my own voice and identity in writing has influenced the ways I have analysed and interpreted Arianto's tensions, contradictions and justifications in his negotiation processes. The findings showcase the ways in which power is shared and shifted among EAP teachers, supervisors and students and the tendency to recognise and respect different ways of practising EAP among readers, such as journal reviewers and thesis examiners. They also reveal how Arianto's readiness and confidence to share the ownership of and appropriate English as an international language has been exercised in the negotiation processes involving my support, encouragement as well as critical comments and high expectation of his writing.