No one sees the fathers: Israeli fathers' experience of feticide

•Feticide affects fathers deeply, but their views have rarely been considered or examined.•Feticide is a socially/gender-constructed experience with little personal variation.•Retrospectively counterfactual thoughts are common as men question their conformity.•Dialogical Self Theory provides insights concerning men's opposing positions.

RationaleFeticide, a relatively recent development in medical technology, is the practice of late-stage pregnancy termination. The practice of feticide and the individuals who are closely exposed to it - particularly the fathers- have been under-researched.ObjectiveThe current research aims to fill this lacuna, examining the experience of Israeli fathers whose fetuses underwent feticide. Israeli policy concerning late-stage termination of pregnancy is unique but corresponds with Israeli social norms that emphasize health in general and healthy children in particular.MethodsSeventeen interviews with men who experienced the feticide of their fetuses were carried out. Interviews were analyzed using the principles of hermeneutic phenomenology as outlined by Ricoeur.ResultsThe results indicate that men's experiences in this arena are socially constructed and limited by gender roles and expectations. The revealed themes address: (a) the lack of a socially constructed terminology; (b) the unclear definition of the feticide experience; (c) men's sense of obligation to protect themselves and others from the procedure and its ramifications, and (d) the policies and regulations used to exclude men from the feticide experience, and the strategies they use to exclude themselves. The results further revealed that while narrating their experiences, men re-examined their behaviors, raising retrospectively counterfactual thoughts about what should have been done differently.ConclusionThe findings highlight the interface between a personal experience and a social phenomenon. In conceptualizing the men's two opposing positions - one that embraces social expectations, as evident in the revealed themes; the other that questions fathers' conformity, as evident through their counterfactual thoughts -Dialogical Self Theory was useful.