Disinvitations: You’re not invited to my birthday party

•Disinvitations assert that a hearer is not invited to an event.•Disinvitations occur in both social and professional contexts.•Examination of authentic disinvitations reveals consistent structure.•Disinvitations may include explanations, redress, appeals, apology, and thanks.•Disinvitations pose a challenge to the pragmatic skills of the disinviters.

This paper examines the speech act of disinvitations, the act of rescinding an invitation or an anticipated invitation. Naturally occurring, authentic disinvitations are analyzed to determine the structure of disinvitations providing a second-order analysis; online discussion posts concerning disinvitations provide first-order accounts of attitudes toward disinvitations, outcomes, and the conditions under which they can be performed. An additional online survey supplements the unsolicited data providing additional examples, disinvitation reconstructions, and reactions to and interpretations of disinvitations. First-order discussions characterize disinvitations as highly undesirable, and advice postings admonish would-be disinviters to avoid the act. Nevertheless, the meeting of certain speech community norms allows disinvitations to be performed appropriately with sufficient relational work.