Self-compassionate and apologetic? How and why having compassion toward the self relates to a willingness to apologize

After offending someone, transgressors can offer an apology to attenuate the destructive consequences of their actions. Unfortunately, even though apologies can be immensely beneficial, transgressors often withhold an apology because it can feel uncomfortable to accept blame for wrongful behavior. We sought to enhance our understanding of factors that shape transgressors' responses by investigating whether self-compassion is associated with greater willingness to apologize. Because self-compassionate people withhold self-judgment and become less overwhelmed by experiencing negative emotions, they tend to face rather than withdraw from challenging situations. We therefore predicted that self-compassionate people would be more willing to apologize because they are less likely to withdraw in the context of transgressing, and we found support for this prediction in one study using a large sample. These findings expand our knowledge of factors that aid in conflict resolution and demonstrate that being understanding toward one's failures promotes constructive responses to those failures.