Attachment and dyadic regulation processes

•Insecurely attached people have relatively unhappy and unstable romantic relationships.•But, partners can down-regulate the emotional and behavioral reactions of insecure people.•Partners’ regulation produces more constructive relationship interactions.•Partners’ regulatory responses also create a more secure relationship environment.•These dyadic regulation processes can enhance relationship well-being and attachment security.

Insecurely attached people have relatively unhappy and unstable romantic relationships, but the quality of their relationships depends on how their partners regulate them. Some partners find ways to regulate the emotional and behavioral reactions of insecurely attached individuals, which promotes greater relationship satisfaction and security. We discuss attachment theory and interdependence dilemmas, and then explain how and why certain responses by partners assuage the cardinal concerns of insecure individuals in key interdependent situations. We then review recent studies illustrating how partners can successfully regulate the reactions of anxiously and avoidantly attached individuals, yielding more constructive interactions. We finish by considering how these regulation processes can create a more secure dyadic environment, which helps to improve relationships and attachment security across time.