I only like the idea of you: Narcissists tolerate others’ narcissistic traits but not their corresponding behaviors

•Narcissists (vs. non-narcissists) are more tolerant of others’ abstract narcissistic traits.•However, this increased tolerance vanishes in the context of concrete narcissistic behaviors.•Thus, the current work exposes an instance of ‘narcissistic hypocrisy’.

Do narcissists really like other narcissists? Although some research suggests that the answer is ‘yes,’ the current study demonstrates that the answer to this question is not so simple. In this study, participants (N = 370) completed a survey in which they responded on a measure of trait narcissism and then were randomly assigned to rate the likability of people who were described by either 13 narcissistic traits (abstract-trait description condition) or 13 behavioral manifestations of these traits (concrete-behavior description condition). Results showed that narcissists (vs. non-narcissists) rated narcissistic others significantly more positively in the abstract-trait description condition, whereas this effect was non-significant (and slightly reversed) in the concrete-behavior description condition. Interestingly, this interaction effect was not modified by the contextual salience of one’s own (non)narcissistic identity. In sum, the present research presents a case of ‘narcissistic hypocrisy’ – narcissists claim to be more forgiving of narcissistic traits but do not follow through with this claim when led to confront manifestations of these traits. This finding adds to a growing body of work examining narcissists’ attitudes toward narcissism.