Friends without benefits: When we react negatively to helpful and generous friends

Being able to identify reliable friends and allies is key to surviving and thriving in the social world. Many cooperative accounts of friendship argue that people select friends based on how helpful and generous they are. While people certainly like helpful and generous others, here we explore a context in which people might respond negatively to a friend being prosocial: When one's friend is more helpful or generous toward another friend. We argue that such preferential prosociality prompts negative reactions, even when the alternative is a friend being less prosocial overall, because giving preferentially to another friend may be viewed as a threat of potential displacement of one's own friendship. In four studies (N = 702), we predict and find that people respond negatively to a friend who was more helpful (Studies 1-2) and generous (Studies 3-4), preferring instead that a friend be less helpful and generous overall. Importantly, this preferential prosociality was viewed as particularly negative when the recipient was another friend and was seen as much less negative when the recipient was a relative (Study 1 and 4) or a romantic partner (Study 2). We discuss the implications of these results for cooperation and alliance-based accounts of friendship.