The temporality of intimacy: Promise, world, and death

This paper explores the temporal character of intimacy. I begin by examining the significance of “promise” and “habit” in intimate relationships. These themes are developed through the work of M. Merleau-Ponty and J.H. van den Berg to reveal the embedded or en-worlded character of intimacy. These analyses help to articulate and to problematize the sense we often have of “established” relationships as possessing a fixed, already determined character. The final section discusses the issues of intimacy that surround the situation of dying. Specifically, it analyses (1) ways in which the issue in death is the stripping away of one's world, but also ways in which the meaning of one's death is still something futural, and thus “to be shaped”; and, (2) ways in which the shaping of this meaning with intimate others is significant both for the one manifestly dying and for those whose death seems distant.