Gay men in early midlife: Intergenerational accommodation for approval, reclaimed status, and distinctiveness

• From interview data emerged a grounded theory that adapted and extended CAT.
• Some midlife gay men converge with younger men both verbally and nonverbally.
• Some midlife gay men diverge from younger men's language and technology use.
• Some midlife gay men engage a CAT maintenance strategy to self-enhance.

This study draws upon interview data and a communication accommodation theory framework to explore how early midlife gay men manage their age identities vis-à-vis younger gay men. Face-to-face interviews with forty gay men (aged 40–53) in four U.S. cities, followed by open and axial coding of the data, revealed a new grounded theory of gay midlife intergenerational accommodation. The model includes various forms of communicative convergence and divergence that are enacted in the interest of gaining approval from younger outgroup members, reclaiming lost social status, and achieving positive group distinctiveness. Similarities and extensions to communication accommodation theory are discussed, as are the theory's implications for understanding gay midlife.