“A real bag of mixed emotions”: Re-entry experiences of South African exiles

This study investigated the re-entry experiences and readjustment of apartheid-era political exiles upon their return to a liberated South Africa. Although greatly anticipated, the return to South Africa in transition dredged up what one interviewee called “a real bag of mixed emotions.”The research team studied transcripts of ‘oral history’ interviews with returnees, part of an archive housed at the Mayibuye Centre at the University of the Western Cape, South Africa. Comments, both positive and negative, about return were extracted from the transcripts and emergent themes, arrived at by consensus, were clustered into 12 consolidated categories. These data were analysed statistically to reveal trends.The qualitative data, which capture the complex emotional nuances of the return experience, are the main focus of this article. Unlike traditional sojourners, the expectations of these political exiles included a vested interest in a changed and better society although many found that their idealised conception of home was far from the harsh reality. Most interviewees felt torn between positive and negative feelings, the one impression often countermanding the other. Some viewed the negotiated settlement as a political sell-out, further fuelling feelings of despair. Nevertheless, the interviews revealed a strong sense of moral obligation to ensure that the new political dispensation would deliver on its promises and that the sacrifices of exiles would not be in vain. It is hoped that this research project will broaden the sojourner literature that currently tends to focus on extended periods abroad and subsequent re-entry occurring under conditions of choice rather than duress.