Sexuality and power on South African game farms; reflections on positionality and emotions in ethnographic research

The taboo around researchers' sexualities and sexual experiences in ethnographic field work persists. We found that our sexuality, alongside physical and emotional experiences, were pivotal to how we shaped research relations and processes. This evokes questions around how we reflect on our positionalities and the knowledge we generate. We argue that ethnographic accounts are strengthened by inclusive reflexivity, that acknowledges sex and sexuality. This article presents empirical material from field experiences on South African game farms. These spaces tend to represent a particular image of wilderness, constructed according to patriarchal and racist hierarchies, which heighten contestations over belonging. As such they become spaces of violence, seduction, and power, and we found ourselves (neither minds nor bodies) unable to detach from these spatial and emotional dynamics. Our strategies for 'being in the field' came to evolve around negotiations of power, sex and complicity. The emotional dynamics made us feel confused, bewildered and sometimes scared. We seek to share our experiences and feelings, and to contribute to discussion on the role of sexuality in ethnographic research, and the epistemological, methodological and practical advantages of reflecting on the ways we engage in the field.