Asymmetry in self-other agreement on attachment style among romantic partners

This research reports about asymmetrical relations in self-other ratings of attachment style. Specifically, results showed that romantic partners hold relatively accurate perceptions of each other’s attachment styles with one exception: women’s ability to judge their male partner’s level of attachment-related anxiety was compromised compared with the other agreement indices measured. The effect was not moderated by acquaintanceship length or relationship satisfaction, but it was affected by men’s interpersonally oriented self-control. The findings appear to reflect men’s reluctance from appearing anxious to their female partners and from the nature of the anxiety dimension of attachment. Anxiety (as compared with avoidance) has a less consistent interpersonal behavioral manifestation and thus is more concealable among those motivated and capable of doing so.

► Romantic partners hold relatively accurate perceptions of each other’s attachment.
► Nevertheless, women were inaccurate in judging their male partners’ level of anxiety.
► The effect was moderated by men’s self-regulatory ability.
► The results reflect men’s reluctance from appearing anxious to their partners.
► The findings also speak to the nature of the anxiety dimension of attachment.