‘What you want, or what you get?’ Young women talking about the gap between desired and lived heterosexual relationships in the 21st century

SynopsisWithin Western European countries in the 21st century, young women's sexualities are often portrayed as liberated and empowered. This paper investigates how young English women talk about their (hetero)sexual relationships as accommodating their own needs and aspirations. Twenty-two English young women, aged 16–25, were interviewed for this study, and a critical discourse analysis of their talk revealed various discrepancies. There is a clear gap between young women's relational desires and relational realities, as well as between their theoretical assumptions of established gender and sexual equalities and experienced inequalities. Whilst some young women were engaged in establishing alternative relational lifestyles, a majority of the participants compromised their own needs and desires within their (hetero)sexual relationships. Realising that 21st century young women do not necessarily inhabit the empowered relational and sexual spaces in which they are portrayed, the paper concludes that remaining inequalities in (hetero)sexual relationships need to be highlighted and challenged.