Holding on to what might have been may loosen (or tighten) the ties that bind us: A counterfactual potency analysis of previous dating alternatives

• Data from undergraduate samples and adult community samples were studied.
• Regret of forgone alternatives correlated positively with counterfactual potency.
• Current relationship commitment correlated negatively with counterfactual potency.
• Regret of forgone alternatives mediated the counterfactual potency/commitment link.
• Among highly invested partners, counterfactual potency increased commitment.

Existing research shows that people who have good current alternatives to their romantic partner are less committed to the relationship. The present research indicates that relationship commitment also depends on perceptions of high quality forgone alternatives. The current research investigates the role of counterfactual potency (i.e., perceived likelihood of a mentally simulated alternative to reality) concerning potential dating partners from the past. Data from three studies revealed that as the perceived potency of a past romantic alternative increased, regret associated with forgone dating alternatives increased and commitment to the current partner decreased. Regret associated with forgone alternatives mediated the relationship between counterfactual potency and commitment. However, the link between counterfactual potency and commitment was further moderated by investment size; among the highly invested, as the perceived potency of a past romantic alternative increased, commitment to the current partner increased. Results are discussed in light of the investment model of relationship commitment.